Growing up, I never questioned my adoption. My mom, in her gentle way, explained that my birth mother loved me but believed I deserved a home with a mom and dad who could provide the best care. It was a simple narrative that made sense to a child.
As I matured, my mom and I delved into discussions about family dynamics within the Black community. She painted vivid pictures of large families, recounting instances where the youngest member wasn’t a sibling but a grandchild – a child of one of the kids. According to her, this was a common practice. Unwed daughters would temporarily leave home, returning with a baby who seamlessly became part of the family fabric. The idea of a baby leaving the family was inconceivable.
However, my recent reunion with my biological family has left me pondering why this narrative didn’t hold for them. They were a middle-class family with the means to support a new addition. My grandfather was a doctor, my aunt pregnant at the same time, and my mother a successful figure in 1960s Hollywood. Why did they decide to let me go, when they seemingly had the resources to embrace motherhood?
The questions multiply: Did my biological mom feel unsupported or perhaps relieved? Did she envision a life unencumbered by the responsibilities of motherhood, or was there a deeper, more complex truth? These questions, laden with emotional weight, have haunted me since our reunion.
In an attempt to unravel these complexities, my mom and I have launched “Conversations with Mom,” our podcast where we delve into the intricacies of adoption, family, and the profound act of giving up a child for adoption. We confront challenging questions that may uncover feelings difficult to discuss. Is it a mother’s ultimate sacrifice, or a way to sidestep responsibility? We acknowledge that being a good mother often goes unnoticed, yet it’s an act of unparalleled selflessness.
Join us on “Conversations with Mom” as we navigate the raw and candid terrain of finding each other and explore the profound implications of giving up a child, and the challenges faced by remarkable individuals like Taraji P. Henson, who navigated single motherhood while pursuing a career in Hollywood.
Tune in, and let’s engage in a conversation that transcends the boundaries of adoption, family, and the complexities of motherhood.
